Finding your purpose or why goal setting doesn’t work

Finding one’s life purpose is a universal concern. Many people ask this question. When we talk about the purpose of life, it often overlaps with the concept of the meaning of life. However, if we think of it as a goal, the main goal can be to be a unique Human.

The purpose of life is to be a Human. The Meaning of life is to live your unique life as a Human being and to interact with others.

The purpose of life represents an endpoint, while the meaning of life is about what you live for.

This should be the end of the article. Additionally, there’s an article about the Meaning of Life, which explores what it means to live and what constitutes a Human. But since the theme of the Purpose of Life mentions being a Human, let’s also consider what it means to be a Human.

What is the Human?
A human being is made up of many aspects: 

  • Physical body. 
  • Senses, ordinary senses: vision, smell, hearing, taste, tactile sensations, and so on. While these senses are integral to our physical body, they are noteworthy due to their variability and their profound influence on our experience of the world. 
  • Abstract Senses—the ability to feel people, the ability to feel time, place, beauty, honesty, intuition. These are senses for which we have no specific organs of perception. 
  • Mind. The mind is our tool, much like the hands are to the physical body. The mind is the space where we can observe thoughts. It is the receiver of thoughts, functioning like an airport where millions of thoughts arrive and depart every second. Some thoughts stay with us, some we use, and others we store for future use. 
  • Attention. Attention binds all the parts of Human together, making us whole. 

Currently, for most people, attention is automatically directed to the mind and thoughts. From childhood, we are conditioned to focus our attention primarily on our thoughts. This automatic direction can lead to an imbalance, causing chaos in the mind. This chaos often results in suffering, as our reactions, behaviors, and emotional states are largely determined by these unmanaged thoughts. To achieve a fuller experience of life and to embody the essence of being human, we must take control of our attention and direct it consciously to:
– Attention itself: Focus on understanding where our attention is directed, observe our attention; 
– Physical body: Focus on the needs of our body, feel its sensations, and be aware of what is happening with the body;
– Perception of surroundings: Focus on the external environment, actively listening, seeing, and smelling, touching, and tasting;
– Observation of the mind and thoughts: Focus on observing our mind, including the thoughts that come and go. It allows us to control our mind and thoughts.
To truly perceive the fullness of life, we must engage with multiple objects at the same time. The more aspects we can feel and experience at once, the richer our lives become. This implies that being a human requires us to direct our attention across various aspects at the same time, as the quality of our life depends on this balance. 

In total, there are Body, Senses, abstract Senses, Mind and attention. And all this is a human being, not only a physical body.

What is Being?
There is a profound depth behind this simple word. While it may not always be taken seriously, let’s attempt to uncover its meaning.
Being is derived from the word “beon”, which means “be, exist, come to be, become, happen”. When does this Being exist? It can’t be in the past or the future, right? Indeed, it exists in the present moment, which is right now. What is the present moment? It is when we are aware of where our attention is and perceive, through directed attention to our senses, what is happening to us right now, including what is happening to our thoughts. To be is to use your attention right now and to be aware of what is happening in this moment. It’s like observing your life as it unfolds.  

However, being is an even deeper concept if you try to experience it. I have two exercises where we try to just be – it’s much better to do them to understand exactly what it means. During these exercises, everything seems to happen by itself. You can effortlessly control your attention, observe thoughts or feelings, and it all happens naturally. 

Being means to be self-sufficient, free, and independent of anyone and anything. It is when our state does not depend on external circumstances. Being means being able to be alone with oneself, not feeling bored, and being comfortable in solitude. This is all encompassed in the meaning of the word “Being” in this context. Thus, the phrase “Being Human” is much broader than it appears at first glance. 

Of course, you may be interested in some goals in life, such as achievements and successes. Goals can serve as useful motivators, directing our actions and providing reference points. However, these goals will not make you happy. Why? Because such goals are just thoughts. And all thoughts—they are not truly yours. Someone, somewhere, once gave them to you. You adopted these thoughts and started using them, or rather, the thoughts started using you. When our attention is automatically directed to thoughts, we suffer. Thoughts are inherently chaotic; they demand our attention. When this happens, a person doesn’t control their life; instead, their life is controlled by these various chaotic thoughts.

That’s why goal-setting often doesn’t work in the long run. You set a goal, achieve it, and then feel the need to set a new goal, leading to an endless cycle. This results in ongoing suffering, no matter what goals are realized. It gets even worse when people set goals (thoughts) about something and cannot achieve them, causing further suffering. Most goals we set are thoughts that have been given to us: seen in movies, read in books or magazines, heard from friends, or seen in commercials. These goals are typically imposed on us. 

However, having a goal as a reference point can be useful. The key is to understand that the goal is not the main thing. You don’t depend on it. You are not defined by whether you achieve it or not. You can change this reference point at any time. In this way, the goal becomes a useful thought, a helpful tool, rather than a source of suffering. 

As you have noticed, your attitude toward goals matters. If you don’t give them too much importance, goals can be comfortable and useful. However, when they are placed at the center of everything, they lead to suffering.

When you don’t give goals importance, you can use them flexibly. You can choose any goal, and if it starts to burden you, you can change it. This way, you can experiment with different goals for yourself, finding what truly interests you and what is beneficial for you, not for your friends or relatives. Don’t adopt someone else’s goals—they didn’t make anyone happy.

To better understand goals, first try to understand what thoughts are, since goals are just thoughts. By understanding thoughts, understanding your attention, and training your attention, it will become natural and easy for you to determine the directions of your life. Most likely, you won’t need thought-goals anymore. As humans, we cannot foresee everything, and focusing on specific goals might cause us to miss something more important in life—our true selves. 

As long as we are not free, as long as we are preoccupied with other people’s goals (thoughts), we may not see what is obvious and beneficial to us.